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Brine Leas High School Personality Run-Down

Mr. Butler aka Mickey B

Slap headed chieftain of our fair school. Talks far too much in assemblies. Famously mixed up organism with orgasm in front of 1000 pupils and local dignitaries. Probably hasn't had much experience of either.

Mrs. Emmett aka Zebadee

So nicknamed because of her stupid name (Zeta. Yeah, nice one). Jack-booted, 87 year old local head of "Modern" languages. Loves the French unless she is in France. Hates everyone. Has had many fights with other teaches. Zebadee wins. We fear her.

Mr. Robinson aka "Aaarghdirtybastardheeeelpscreammmm..."

Forces little boys to strip, "for showers". Been known to nail soap to the floor of said showers. Don't go near him unless you are in possession of an 80,000 volt stun weapon.

Mr. Barnes aka Mate

Pray all be upstanding for the great Mr. Barnes, defender of pupils rights, possessor of nice personality and friendly nature, and because he talks like a farmer. Has the ability to hide his enormous intellect behind a disguise of stupidity. Walks like John Cleese doing the Ministry of Funny Walks sketch. We laugh with Mr. Barnes, not at him. Most of the time.

Mr. Price aka Neemo

Leper CDT teacher with no personality and less intelligence.

Mrs. Dennel aka Mithuth Dennul

Psycho-bitch music teacher who is in league with Satan. Pronounces all words with an attached noise like the proper Welsh pronunciation for "LL". Perches on a stool and dribbles to herself while the class inject Heroin, smoke pot, drink meths etc.

That's all I've got time for for now. More coming soon, or mail in some of your own, whether you go to BLS or not.

The clamouring public (err...) demanded more, so here is...more!

Dr. Farrington

Child abusing bearded chemistry teacher. Beats pupils regularly. Married to a music teacher. 'Nuff said.

Mr Cook aka Fat Pete, Cookie Monster

Ever wondered what Santa Claus does while he's not delivering presents? Well, now I can reveal the truth: he teaches retards science, and tries to guide people into further education. And takes free skiing holidays. And drinks lots of duty free whisky. And is fat. And talks far to much in assemblies. (De ja vu?)

Mrs Garside, aka bitchcowslagbootwhorebeast

Reptillian biology teacher, who has to perch in direct sunlight to warm here blood up enough to have a paddy because she can't control a class. Thinks the best way of stopping a class from talking is to sit quietly at the front. Yeah, nice one.

Mrs Hibbert

Chain smoking undead skeleton drama teacher. Ha ha! Teach? Sit in the drama looking lost, more like.

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