Brine Leas High School Personality Run-Down
Mr. Butler aka Mickey B
Slap headed chieftain of our fair school. Talks far too much in assemblies. Famously mixed up organism with orgasm in front of 1000
pupils and local dignitaries. Probably hasn't had much experience of either.
Mrs. Emmett aka Zebadee
So nicknamed because of her stupid name (Zeta. Yeah, nice one).
Jack-booted, 87 year old local head of "Modern" languages. Loves the French
unless she is in France. Hates everyone. Has had many fights with other
teaches. Zebadee wins. We fear her.
Mr. Robinson aka "Aaarghdirtybastardheeeelpscreammmm..."
Forces little boys to strip, "for showers". Been known to nail soap to the floor
of said showers. Don't go near him unless you are in possession of an
80,000 volt stun weapon.
Mr. Barnes aka Mate
Pray all be upstanding for the great Mr. Barnes, defender of pupils rights,
possessor of nice personality and friendly nature, and because he talks like a farmer.
Has the ability to hide his enormous intellect behind a disguise of
stupidity. Walks like John Cleese doing the Ministry of Funny Walks sketch.
We laugh with Mr. Barnes, not at him. Most of the time.
Mr. Price aka Neemo
Leper CDT teacher with no personality and less intelligence.
Mrs. Dennel aka Mithuth Dennul
Psycho-bitch music teacher who is in league with Satan. Pronounces all words
with an attached noise like the proper Welsh pronunciation for "LL".
Perches on a stool and dribbles to herself while the class inject Heroin,
smoke pot, drink meths etc.
That's all I've got time for for now. More coming soon, or mail in some
of your own, whether you go to BLS or not.
The clamouring public (err...) demanded more, so here is...more!
Child abusing bearded chemistry teacher. Beats pupils regularly. Married to
a music teacher. 'Nuff said.
Mr Cook aka Fat Pete, Cookie Monster
Ever wondered what Santa Claus does while he's not delivering presents? Well,
now I can reveal the truth: he teaches retards science, and tries to guide people
into further education. And takes free skiing holidays. And drinks lots
of duty free whisky. And is fat. And talks far to much in assemblies. (De ja vu?)
Mrs Garside, aka bitchcowslagbootwhorebeast
Reptillian biology teacher, who has to perch in direct sunlight to warm here blood
up enough to have a paddy because she can't control a class. Thinks the best way
of stopping a class from talking is to sit quietly at the front. Yeah, nice one.
Chain smoking undead skeleton drama teacher. Ha ha! Teach? Sit in the drama looking
lost, more like.